Letting go of perfect

As a recovering perfectionist and type A woman, I know how hard letting go can be. Let go of this idea of perfection? What the… ?!? And let the things I have worked so hard for be anything less than perfect? Yes, Sarah – you got this.

Being a mom comes with so many lessons, doesn’t it? Letting go of things outside of my control is one lesson I keep learning. Over and over. Children are great teachers of this, especially toddlers ;).

There are days I finally get this lesson and relax into this new space of flexibility. And then there are days I digress and am faced with this choice once more. I see now, I must to let go of perfection, which also means letting go of control (and expectations for that matter).

“Let go of perfection and choose to embrace the moments that matter. Then be okay with the messiness and undoneness it leaves behind.”

For me, perfection looks like many things. Many things on my ‘to do’ list that leave me feeling like I can’t catch up. When I took a closer look, I was shocked by one common theme. Many of the items pertained to outward things…and appearances. What?!? I was truly in disbelief because I really felt I was living by Wayne Dyer’s advice. He says, “What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is being independent of the good opinions of other people.” I guess I still have some work to do.

Why the heck did I have so many things like always having a perfectly clean house, laundry clean/folded/put away, dreams of a fully landscaped yard like out of a magazine, kids involved in things but not overly involved, plans for perfectly clean/home-cooked meals every night, a routine for my boys that felt like a drain, a workout schedule that was often out of reach, and on and on??? I know some of these things actually make me feel more organized and better prepared for what comes my way. I digested a little more and I started to see that much of the items were a HUGE distraction. A distraction taking me away from the moments that make up my life. A distraction from being here and now. A distraction from fulfilling my dreams of service to others; a distraction from my purpose. I am sure we could dive deeper into the whys, but for now I am relishing in the joy of simply seeing this and acknowledging my desire for change.

“If you are not serving your true self, you are in fact not serving anyone.”

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So are you willing to own up to your endless and ever growing list of ‘to do’s’. What are your musts and your nice-to-haves? What on your list is draining you and pulling you down, rather than filling you up? Can you let go of those things? And if not, why are you holding on to them if they are not serving you? Is your list filled up with ‘should do’s’, obligations of a Super Mom that doesn’t exist, yet you aspire to be? Or is it some other unrealistic expectation that you have placed on yourself? Well, let’s declare this together – That is enough of that.

My must haves are making more memories of my 3 year old taking an ‘airplane ride’ on my feet lifted up high, laughter over hide and seek and chasing each other at the park, pillow talk when I get the request – ‘talk about a story, mommy’, long hugs and unsolicited ‘I love you’s’. More baby giggles and smiles from my littlest as I blow on his tummy and play peek-a-boo. More time for my relationship with my husband, for date nights and long talks. Also on my must haves are things for me like quiet morning reflection, requiring me to rise earlier than the boys (which is hard when they both wake up at 6am), moving as often as I can: walk, run, kick butt HIIT workouts, and reading things that fill me up like these books.

This means that I have a choice (and so do you). I can choose to be okay with going too long without vacuuming or scouring the tubs. And those dishes piling up? Oh yeah, there will be more where that came from and laundry, too. It will all be there and somehow it will get done. But right now, when my oldest is asking me to play with him and I feel the pull of that overly full list, I recall my commitment of what I must have… and that is him and this moment. The rest will be there, but this moment will go, all too quickly. And it is moments like this, that fill me up, allowing me to feel filled up enough to continue on with the rest… later.